Blog 05: Masculinity is questionable

They are afraid to be called sissies because that would make them weak in other words feminine, it’s one of their fears, “men fear being ridiculed as too feminine by other men”. For men violence is cool as well as being tough and having strength is their goal, therefore when a person calls them a sissie it’s as equal as calling him a faggot, because faggot does not apply to the homosexual experience, it’s a label to make them feel ashamed. That is another fear that they have, being ashamed. If they were called a sissie or a faggot they could not tell anyone about it in order to find a solution or get help to overcome the label that men give to one another. Also, they must learn not to care what others say, as in the opinion of other men about a guys masculinity should not be questioned or label from “not at all sissie” to “the biggest sissie”. 

I find it funny how women always complain that we are trained at a young age until we get married how to sit, how to act, how to talk, how to eat and the list goes on, yet men have the same struggles. They’re just better at hiding it. In the class “Sociology of Men and Masculinities” the teacher asked how do you know if a man is homosexual and some ladies responded, “a man is gay if he really cares about her, (another said), she knows he’s gay if he shows no interest in her, if he leaves her alone. The response the women gave are not logical, since not all guys need to have a sexual attraction to all girls they talk to or see. This shows that guys have a lot of expectations to fulfill as much as girls do. As for the other comment by the woman that if they do care a lot they come of as feminine but what if he is a kind, nice guy. Women also labelled men by stating that if they care too much they are feminine, as if men should not care because that is the job of a women, to care a lot of others, when in reality it is very touching when a guy asks about you and actually cares, that is a sign of interest, other than sexual attraction. 

Women are portrayed as weak helpless beings whereas men are portrayed strong and dominant, this leads to patriarchal beliefs, “Patriarchy is a political-social system that insists that males are inherently dominating, superior to everything and everyone deemed weak, especially females, and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence”. This mindset is enforced by religion too, since God created men and women were created to help him. I honestly hate the ideology that women cannot do what men can. It frustrates me that women are only seen as nurtures, who enforce what men say and follow their lead and that men only know how to be violent in the patriarchal world. I applaud to those few men brutally who grew up in this world abused, yet were able to resist the brainwashing and remain true to who they are. 

The way men can redefine masculinity is not labeling each other as “sissies” or “none sissies”, as well as showing their emotions and caring for others without being called a faggot. Also accepting that women can do things that is stereotypical of men to do as well as men can do what women do. There are supposed to be no boundaries for both women and men. As well as ignoring old beliefs and not being brainwashed is the biggest step. 

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